IrishBrewed's work related injuries:

[RED RING]

We are all familiar with IB's brilliance via this website, Xbox Live, and or PSN. However, only Ostej and I are privy to the level of genius that IB displays in the professional atmosphere. Allow me to share some stories and feel free to comment.

1. "Stapler of Death"

During casual conversation, Irish was playing with his stapler. All of the sudden, his eyes opened wide as he stared a hole in my very soul. Soon I learn he has driven a staple deep into his finger. He looks at me and says "Take it out! Take it out!". As I reach for it, he yells "No don't! No don't!". At which point he took the next several seconds to muster up the courage to remove the staple himself.

2. "How sharp is razor sharp?"

Most people aren't familiar with metal removal. IB and I work for a company that produces the tools used to remove metal or "machine" parts so to speak. A lathe spins the part at high rpms as the tool comes in and cuts the diameter of the part. This can produce a long, hot, and EXTREMELY sharp chip. Most lathe machinists will use thick leather gloves or a metal hook to remove and dispose of the chips. Not IB. He grabs a nice stringer out of the trash bin and decides to play with it as the facilities manager and I have a conversation. His eyes once again grow very wide as he grips his hand with all his might. We soon learn he has completely sliced through his fingers on the razor sharp metal.

3. "Lemme stick my finger in there. Twice."

As IB, I and my boss have a casual conversation at my desk, IB sticks his finger in a tube and gets it stuck. Asks me to pull the tube off, but immediately retracts this statement as the boss and I laugh. I grab the tube anyways and yank it off with much laughter. I then convinced him that if he took the cap off the other end, it probably would have come off easier with no problem. He re-inserted his finger and hilarity ensued again. Once again I have to rip the tube off, (which was stuck on there pretty damn good), and laugh. His finger what solid red after the second go around.

4."WARNING! GLOVES REQUIRED! Or not. Either way really."

Part of IB's duties as my assistant, or secretary if you will, is to chemically pre-corrode our finished parts. This process, if done correctly (which he doesn't do), is supposed to keep the tools from rusting later. It involves dipping a metal part in a series of vats or tanks of differing chemicals that will corrode the outside edges and then stop the process so as to build a protective outside layer keeping the metal from rusting any further. Now think about this. These chemicals eat steel. Gloves? Not for IB. This brave, (or stupid), man just used his bare hands for months. And yet was shocked to find a nasty skin eating rash on his arm that wouldn't clear up. I convinced him it was feline leukemia with a sprinkle of elbow cancer.

5. "Let me just push this closed........."

Gundrills. Designed to drill really deep and accurately. Commonly used for drilling gun barrels, hence the name. We however, use them to drill coolant holes in our product. Long steel tubes with an extremely sharp carbide tip. IB in his infinite wisdom, pushed the drill through the plastic packaging it was contained in and straight into the palm of his hand until the drill met bone. Way to go dummy. Carbide > flesh every........single...........time.

6. "YEAARRRRGGLLEEEE!!!!"

"Can't we all just get along?" No Rodney, we can't. Irish takes raw material to a vendor for heat treating. I could bore you with the process, but it isn't pertinent to the story. This particular vendor is in one of the most shadiest (pun intended) parts of Fort Worth. The stereotypical dealers on the corner, hookers walking around looking for a good time, you know the scene. IB stands out like a swollen fist being a milky white guy in a sea of ni........... Afro Americans. Apparently, a coked up gentlemen stopped in the middle of the street and took umbrage with IB's travels. This person of color began pounding on the hood of his truck, which IB deemed unacceptable. Once Irish left the safety of his vehicle, the maniac attacked him tearing his shirt. I must admit, I'm proud of my boy because he ignored the other 15 of the darkies and started to pound the face in of his assailant. One of the other colored's came and drug off the man telling IB "Just get the fuck outta here. He's fucked up." IB complied as to keep from getting jumped by more of them. Racial violence. Yeah, he's getting a bigger raise this year.


This, ladies and gentlemen, is IrishBrewed.

[Flibbity Floid]

He owes us a lot more than that and his "digit" wouldn't cover a fraction of it. IF you get my drift.

 

I've only Flat Out Quit from McDonalds but that's b/c they were going to fire me anyway and my buddy gave me a heads up about it. Fuck that shit. They gave me 3 days of 4 hours apiece back when minimum wage was barely $6. I basically left with unkind words and a couple apple pies.

[Travers36]

I need McDonaldland cookies

[Flibbity Floid]

I hated their cookies.

[RED RING]

He put in notice but wound up just leaving after a couple days.

Travers36 said:

You could always ask him to keep you posted if he loses an eye/digit.  He owes you that much.

 

Did he quit or put in notice?  I've always wanted to pull the Scarface quit but I'm not a fan of burning bridges.

RED RING said:

Well, there won't be anymore entries into this thread. Irish quit and left the company as of last Tuesday.

[Flibbity Floid]

Can't you just randomly walk over and punch Irish in the face?

 

Or document some other type of maliciousness on the boy. I think we can survive with Irisbrewed's Brain Related Injuries.

[ChegsTheTainoTank]

Irish has a brain?

Flibbity Floid said:

Can't you just randomly walk over and punch Irish in the face?

 

Or document some other type of maliciousness on the boy. I think we can survive with Irisbrewed's Brain Related Injuries.

[Flibbity Floid]

It's in his ass aka Reds Nook.

[Irishbrewed]

i no worky there n e more

[Travers36]

That had been established a few pages back.   Now, with that out of the way it is now requested you post the dumb shit you do to yourself at home.  You do work at home so I expect to hear stories about stapeling your sleeve to the roof when you're putting up Christmas lights and such.   Like Clark Griswold but one that hates minorities.

 

Please do something awesome